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Dec 29 2015

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ODDS AND ENDS

French friesOverheard while in line at McDonald’s:

Customer:    And I’d like fries with that.

Employee:   What size fries?

Customer:    Um, I guess about four or five inches.


 

To marketers sending me emails with subject lines like “You brake walls with your boner” or “Take love gun out n shoot” or “Forge huge love sword” be advised: I do not suffer from erectile dysfunction because I do not have an erectile to dysfunct. Please quit it.

 


 

My significant-other-in-law is working on an old car. He is using a product that says this on the label:

Contains: Xylene & Toluene. Vapor harmful. May affect the brain or nervous system. Causes eye, skin, nose, throat irritation. Vapors may ignite explosively. May cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.

Anyone care to drop by and help him with the project?

 


 

I studied art in college, then switched to English when it became clear I had no art talent whatsoever. Decades later, I wrote my first book. Now I am starting my sixth. At last I know what I am: I am a writer.

 


 

Overheard on a Delta flight out of Atlanta: A woman on the aisle turn to a man in uniform who was wedged into a center seat next to her. “Thank you for your service,” she said, then galloped on down the aisle, not allowing him the opportunity to get out.

Permanent link to this article: http://lindabmyers.com/odds-and-ends/

2 comments

  1. Linda

    Wow, Kay … I’m blushing here. Most people just think I’m a snarly old poop which, of course, I am. Joy and prosperity to you, too.

  2. kayk597

    Linda, I thank all the powers that be that you allowed me to read and review your 2nd Bear novel. Got the first one lined up on my Kindle now, and cannot wait to read it too.
    Love, love, love the way you think and write. And laughed myself sillier with this blog.
    Have the best of New Years, and here’s to many more of your inspired stories!

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