Mar 06 2017

From the Back Nine: Online Dating for Seniors| Sequim Gazette

Wednesday February 1st, 2017 | Opinion

Since Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us, I thought I’d point out that romance can still be in the air even if you are older than granite. You just have to remember how.

I became a widow after 36 years of marriage. Five years later, I joined a dating website specifically for the geezer crowd. Here is what I found.

• Four decades without a date makes you feel your skills are rusty. Don’t worry. It comes back to you. You’ll do fine.

• Remember this is for your own good: Go with the flow. You’ll discover that any site you select will ask you some asinine questions. Don’t fight it or you’ll never get out of the chute.

• Put together your profile to reflect who you are now. Do you still want to zip line across the Grand Canyon or have you given up on extreme sports? Be as honest with what you say as you are with your photos.

• Question your goal. Presumably, you’re no longer seeking good genes for your baby. If you want a companion versus a hubby, do you really give a hoot how tall he is? This isn’t high school anymore.

• People on the senior sites are looking for final relationships which aren’t going to be “long-term.” We’ve been through marriages, divorces, deaths. We’re not likely to change much.

Let me say that again: WE’RE NOT LIKELY TO CHANGE MUCH.

• Don’t make a rookie mistake of thinking you can change us. You can’t. If you can’t handle an atheist, a libertarian, a hunter, a tree hugger, or anything else you abhor, believe me: he or she can’t change and neither can you.

That said, remember your mother isn’t watching anymore. It’s never too late to be curious. Live a little.

• Expect regional skews. The Olympic Peninsula has its own, well, oddities. One gent wanted to know if I could skin an elk. Another was more interested in canning tuna. Sexy dress for a female seems to be hip waders. This is not true if you live in, oh say, Chicago. Keep this in mind if you decide to look outside the Pacific Northwest.

• Young people have their own list of watch-out-fors. So do we. Some men are looking for a nurse with a purse to take care of them when their health slips. Men have told me they are frequently approached by women seeking sugar daddies.

I’m not saying that either is necessarily bad, just know the truth of what you’re signing on for.

Bottom line, the experience has been fun. If you decide to try it, don’t be a chucklehead. Don’t send somebody money to buy a ticket to come see you. Don’t meet in a graveyard at midnight. If you use your head as well as your heart, you just might have a great time.


Linda B. Myers is a Port Angeles writer and author of such books as “Fun House Chronicles,” “A Time of Secrets: A Big Island Mystery” and the Bear Jacobs mystery series. Her work is available at and local bookstores, plus excerpts appear on her website Contact her at myers or

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1 comment

    • Pete Haidinyak on March 8, 2017 at 6:15 am
    • Reply

    After my divorce I joined for six months and while I was brutally honest with my profile (my best friend described me as a bit of an ass but someone you want in your corner) I discovered others were not. I found the signal to noise ratio rather high and after about 14 coffee dates and one person I went to several movies with I decided that it wasn’t worth the effort. Maybe after I retire I’ll look again but the odds of finding someone who want to travel six months out of the year in a truck camper is slight. I expect I’ll grow old with my dog.

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